I really believe that someday everything, everything will make perfect sense. Take my life for example: I have often wondered why I've had to go through everything that has happened. I don't just mean everything I've been through with D, but everything else since then. Why has dating been such a struggle for me? Why have I had to kiss so.many.frogs? I'm not saying I thought I had to have a prince. But I was growing a bit tired of the frogs. And the disappointments.
One thing I do pride myself on though is not letting myself get completely discouraged. Even as frustrated as I've gotten, at times, I've never totally given up on faith. I believe that things happen for a reason in life, even if we don't know it at the time.
Recently I've been spending time with someone who is absolutely amazing. And I can say that without any hesitation, whatsoever. Every time I learn something new about him I'm even more impressed. I'm not sure if I have ever met someone so mature, calm, and intelligent.
I had forgotten what it was like to feel this happy. Of course I'm happy in my life. I love my job. I adore my friends. And P is the greatest blessing I could have hoped for. I hestitated to even say that there was something "lacking" because I felt incredibly lucky. That being said, I did miss having someone to talk to late at night about everything under the sun. I missed having a physical connection with someone. And I had almost convinced myself I didn't even have the ability to feel that way about someone anymore. Everyone I dated was missing "something" and I quickly lost interest.
Things are much, much different with this man. I smile when I think about him. I count down the minutes until he gets to my house. I actually got physically weak in the knees when he picked me up for lunch yesterday. I could listen to him talk for hours because he has this amazing voice.
That being said, I still know that the relationship is new, and things take time to develop. I hope that things work out between us because I see tremendous potential there. But, even if we wind up ultimately going our separate ways, just having the opportunity to get to know someone like him has made me believe that it's entirely possible to find someone with all of the qualities I desire.
