I want to thank everyone who responded on my last post about D and the disappointing news from the Department of Child Support Services. The good news is I spoke with my attorney and he let me know that I can and should fight the decision to lower the current support. He made a lot of good points. Among them were: the fact that D has been paying the current support each month, on time, and in full, the fact that he just purchased a brand new truck, and the fact that he offered no supporting documentation when he submitted his income statement. He explained that, while the Department of Child Support Services may have made a recommendation, they are not the final say so when it comes to the decision. The judge will ultimately decide what happens with this situation. He advised me to submit a response declaring that I do not consent to the judgement, and stating my reasons why, along with the supporting evidence.
Once I complete that information, at least I will know I've done all that I can. I really enjoyed reading one comment in particular from my most recent post from a woman who had been through something similar to me, some time ago. She made it clear that she did not condone her ex's behavior, but she also didn't let it control her. Instead, each and every time he committed some atrocity, she simply said a prayer. She prayed that eventually he would what was coming to him. I've decided to take this same approach. I will not let D control my life, even if it's simply by getting angry, or allowing him to get under my skin. He's not worth it. My peace of mind means more to me than that. Without it I am not capable of being the best mother to P, my work will suffer, but more importantly my inner peace is rocked. I refuse to give him that power. Those who anger us, control us. And I decided a long time ago that D will no longer have that power over me.
So next time something such as this happens (because odds are it can and will) I will simply close my eyes, take a deep breathe, and pray. I will pray for self control. I will pray for the strength to keep my integrity intact. I will pray for guidance to know what the right thing to do is. But most of all, I will pray that somehow, some way, D will one day receive exactly what he has given out.